When comes to love, I am like one stubborn kok. I will hold on to one fat big pillar and constantly hallucinate myself that we are just friends and has no special feeling for him. Then my friend would drown me with qns like "Then why do u talk abt him so much"? "You miss him alot, don't u"? OH! COME ON, I dun miss just anybody, I miss all my friends. I was doing this quite well and holding the fact that I am not into anyone.
It was only until ytd, I can't help but doubt on myself. Why can small little words and sentences of his made me smile whole day like one fucking retard? WHY OH WHY!? It has been sooooooooo long since I last fallen in love. The butterflies in the stomach and the joy u can nv hide when u see your special someone, it was gone for so long. I nv wanted the feeling back, it was awful. U feel especially insecure when u are not one hot babe but a fugly fat one. Nabe. But in life, things like this cannot choose right? U cannot teach your heart what to do b cos I tried and failed majorly.
I hate to say I am in love. It's not a beautiful thing and it has never been.
I really hate myself for loving u.
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