Tuesday, April 26, 2011


Journey alone wasn't a bad thing at all. I can make use of time like this to filter what's right and wrong. This is not a emo post, nth like that, just a penny of thought for my own life and my own point of view.

23 years of my life, I haven't had any ambitious dream of my own. However, as I gt older, I desire for different things. Love, money, friends. Some say money leads to e roots of all evil but how true is that? When I was younger, money was not what I need, I need friends, love and family support. All these are what I look forward to and what made me walk thru my teenage life. Then when I was in my 20s, I start to feel threaten by friends and love. These are e 2 that made me lose my smile and faith in life. I then asked myself, why hold on?

Let's talk abt friends. Friends come and go, they say true friends are found in sec sch life and those before or after are just acquaintance. I had to believe so. I have friends leave for bf, good friends of theirs and many many other example which I dun wish to mention. I'm not a perfect friend myself but I know who are those that are worth my trust and understand my say. Those that only come when they need a favour from u are blood suckers. You know who you are(:

I am not saying friends have to be there all e time for u but still, the changes of some act are quite obvious some how. I wouldn't mention names.

Love.. is a fearful word. Once u gt addicted to it, u're trapped and you'll have a hard time finding your way out. Scary it may sound but who dun do love? Haha. I hurt others without considering how they feel, karma returns, believe it or not. I dun wish to emphasize more, it's all quite obvious. No comments and rating required as what u've done to me is enuff to cover my sins for quite a long run.

I did so much for friends, for love, for family, for money. Am i wrong?

Sunday, April 24, 2011

You gave me strength

I know there still ppl that cares for me. Your sentence "I am always here for you". I'm contented. You dun have to blame urself for not being able to help or do anth for me, your presence is all I need(: I love u, my friend.

Don't ever blame urself b cos the one that suppose to feel so is not doing so.

Friday, April 22, 2011

PH

Good friday! Pls be a good one. I was thinking shld I go party with Andrea and sam tonight. Zouk, again. How many times mus I head down to zouk in a month? Quite lerthagic and lazy, will give serious tot for this later.

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Yesterday in sch, I experience a loner journey. I did everything alone. Not as bad as I tot jus looking a lil nerdish. Haha. I put in effort in class ytd but know what? I FORGOT TO DO MY RJ! Gahdammit. My life is nv complete. -.-

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It's PH today, no plans jus yet. SOMEBODY PLS GIVE ME SOME OTHER PLANS RATHER THAN CLUBBING? =)

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Have u ever has this feeling that alot has been gg thru ur mind but u jus dunno how to phrase it and vomit it out in words? Then, you dun even feel like talking and explaining urself? If u do, u know it suck right.

Today, u went off first. Today, I saw u for less than 30 mins. Today, we din exchanges glances. Today, I din say more than 10 sentences to u. Today, I am here blogging and tears roll down again. TODAY, I LOSE IT AGAIN.

I dun wan to do this anymore. I really really truly want to stop myself for behaving like a girly girl. I dun like it. I know guys dun like it cos these are trouble and they, find it annoying. Hey, I cant help it. I actually see it coming, I know with him joining RP I will have this thing happening but why do I still feel e punch when it happens? WHY CANT U FUCKING DO SMTH JUST FOR ME???

Okay, fyp tmr. Bye.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

New sem, new year, New start?

It's sch tmr. I had a mixed feelings and I dunno what's best to describe how I'm feeling now. Alot has happen during this holidays. I think alot, cried alot and emo-ed many ways and in everything that occur to me.

I'm seeing him tmr. No exitement, I dunno what's wrong again and I have this feeling of losing him as a friend once again. We shared pretty alot of awkward moments with one another. I'm not looking forward for sch as many of my friends are away for attachment and I'm left alone with him, BC, TCY and some of those which I'm not close with. Major sigh.

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If one can make me feel secure, why would have to keep checking on him and being stalkerish? I dislike my act and feel like a bitch for doing so but I care and I just want to be a part of u and know what's gg on. If u wan to make me give up on u, well done. U did it.

I dunno what's my goal in life anymore. I see friends devote themselves into relationship I felt alone but what else can I do? Bff? Who? Where?

What happen today made me felt a slight pinch of betrayal and disappointed. Then the feeling faded and disappointment sets in. I'm sorry. I promise I wouldn't interfere in anyone elses' life anymore. I lose it again.

I AM SORRY FOR BEING A BITCH EVERYONE. SORRY.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Last straw.

I cant stand ppl that dun realize their own mistakes and only know how to blame others for what has happen. Kinship, why would someone get jealous over their own family members? U tear e family down, u stop me from seeing my closest kin. U know what? U ALWAYS THINK U ARE RIGHT AND THAT'S WHERE U ARE WRONG.

I DUNNO HOW TO EXPLAIN MYSELF HERE. EVEN U ARE NOT HERE TO LISTEN ANYMORE.

SHE IS UR FUCKING OWN SISTER U TEAR E WHOLE FAMILY DOWN, U HEARD THAT??? YOU.