Blow me away

痛。

Schedule disaster

This is my schedule for January. Those green wordings are either rehearsal slots or performance. 8 days in a row for CNY performance, 2 shows on each day. Worse still, working on my bdae, AGAIN! *double roll eyes*

I planned to organise chalet for my bdae and now, I am stuck. So many days taken up know. How to plan?? Uber upset. I love festive seasons b cos I get to enjoy holidays but yet again, I hate it cos it means more work. SHITASS!

Why does my bdae have to fall on JAN? &^%$#@!

REHELLO!

Hello, my fat toe just refuse to heal, it's bleeding again. Performance tmr at Resort world, excited? No. I'm just... I dunno why. Things are not pleasant this weekend so I doubt it will be next week. Sigh.

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I really wish to have someone that can share my nonsense and listen to my rants. Cryssie are just too busy with her work and studies. Now, I realise I have no one else alrdy. I used to think I have many friends but only now, I know I was wrong. Nvm, I will learn to adapt soon. =)

Afterall, 1 bestfriend is enough(:

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I ate alot of junkie today. Many many of it which I dunno what. I need to shit now. HAHA. Hopefully, I can wake up on time tmr and suffer from NO-monday blues.

p/s: I hate sch now.

Coming to senses.

People only see e bad side of me and how I take my friends forgranted. Did anyone ever comment or reflect on how THEY take me forgranted?

If things won't planned, I wouldn't get so fucking pissed. Now what? My say worth zero sense huh? I am not pointing fingers at anyone now. But pls think reaaaally hard and ask yourself, did I ever play u out? How many times I say I cant make it but still show face in e end because of what u say. DID I EVER MAKE ANY NOISE WHEN I GOT KP BY MY AUNT FOR GG AGAINST HER? I attend all outings u planned or rather all outings that u're present. Not b cos I AM TOO FREE but b cos I care. I know u've planned and know that this and this will happen today and I dun wan to make u feel disappointed and so, I went, NO MATTER WHAT. But you friends! Ever did the same thing to me? ALL OF U DID WAS give me excuses like, Sorry i cant make it cos of 100001111101001100101 reasons. If I am just not as important or you just feel that I'm not someone you wish to hang out with, COME TELL ME STRAIGHT AT MY FACE. Don't throw stunts on me. I am sick and want to puke alrdy.

Today, I plan and scheduled my time. I know this and this will take place today but HELLO, you and you and thousands of YOU people play me out. 我是人，我也会闷, 我不是什么都 OK 的。I am not who you see and what you think. My plans are ruined, I'm stuck at my home now, ON A SATURDAY NIGHT.

AND YOU, You say u will join us for dinner, or meet us soon soon soon. WHERE IS YOUR SOON? U played US out twice. Fun huh? WHY DO I NEED TO FUCKING SPARE A THOUGHT FOR OTHERS AND MAKE THEM FEEL GOOD WHEN THEY DUN EVEN FUCKING CARE ABT ME? Where to find someone as stupid and dumb as me? Yah, laugh, point at me and insult me now cos I fucking numb alrdy.

I've nv get so pissed off. I'm fuming hot now not b cos of just what happen today. My anger's cumulative. Come to think of it, I need to learn to be smarter. I now understand what you once said, you dun care. YES, I am not gonna care either.

不是普通的气，是 fucking 气！

Judge it

My aunt knows abt my everything now. Izit good or bad? Judge it.

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Recently, I've like gt nth to hide anymore? Those ppl that I'm hiding something from them has alrdy found out what they need/want to know. Somehow, I felt relieved. It takes a million lies to cover jus one single lie. You can nv stop lying.

But in this society, who don't lie? If u say u don't, you're lying.
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I hurt my fat toe while bathing today. I slipped and fell, had a deep cut and it's bleeding non-stop. Ang gong siao help to clean my wound today, appreciate it thou it was mf pain and YOU ARE ONE VIOLENT SIAO! Dor video it down some more, what are friends for?

Joanna e dumb did not attend sch today, I miss her dolphin laughter. I din know dolphine need so much slp, always cannot wake up on time for sch. CALL HER PIG e next time. HAHA! Snorting pigg! WAHAHAHA. I hope she dun see this.

Anyway, sch's getting boring. I want to pon forever if I can or if i can afford to do so. Stupid sch banned us from wearing slippers. RETARD max. Why do we get rule like a sec sch kid when we pay poly sch fees? Dumb shit.

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I dunno if I'm meeting my lovables tmr. Cash tight lehs, gg out on sunday some more. Tsk! I need a sugar daddy!!! Okay, I AM JOKING.

Gg off soon! I'm at NUS now btw, waiting for my aunt to knock off.

BYE! <3

Unstoppable

It happened. What I can do now is... wait and see what happen on monday. I know how you feel and how you feel too. Compromising is nv easy but try understanding? When love has took place, everything turns complicated. 顺其自然吧。

If I were to say, everyone's at fault including myself. All these grudges and complaints are just part and parcel of our life right? If we fought thru this, things will definitely get better. We are are huamns, we feel, we think, we understand and standby one another. We dun cry for tiny happenings. Not worth it aye?

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I've always wanted to know how u feel but afraid to hurt myself once again. So what shld I do? I am lost, confused and caught in a dilemma.

How lovely

Friends are sibilings god forget to give us. Sometimes, I am afraid to have take someone "lousy" as my bestfriend. This hurt big time, 100000 X worse than falling out of love, isn't it?

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Phone gt chop off today, when will my suffering end? Damn.

Sch was so so today, din do anth much. Oh, did I mention, sometimes, I wish I hadn't form a clique. I cannot handle them, I jus cannot go with their flow. It's bad. Bye.

What's good?

Hearing news from you is good. At least, I know you are a little better than safe.

See u tmr kays <3

WTF

Call me to tell me this? Might as well don't call. Your friend need to do check up, u need to go with her, my problem? CALL AND TELL ME FOR WHAT FUCK! Go luh go luh. I will not bother anymore.

FUCK CARE.

到此为止

Be it it's a sad ending, we had memories before. I know it's never gonna be the same again, I feel it, I know it, I see it. I am learning to let go, it's never gonna be easy, time will heal everything. I have to keep myself remind that you are no longer who I used to know and I have no say, no stand in your heart. Those, were the past.

I am done. No words can describe my feelings now, I cant even tweet. I dun wan others to go ard asking, "what happen to u"? I had enough of this qns. I know after a year, we will be stranger, once again.

Time, is all we need.


p/s: Never say you're sorry when you don't mean it.

Thursday, yet again.

Damn, is the ah peh faci again. There goes my 1st break and HELLO he cant stop whining abt anth that doesn't goes with his flow!

Adorable isn't he? 13 more weeks, how can I ever survive?

I WILL SURVIVE! I WILL SURVIVE!!! HAHAHA.

Another world, another soul

Stop adding stress on me. You are not helping at all.
You nag about the same thing again and again.
I am tired of answering.
I am not jobless nor some free-lance worker/student that has plenty of time for u.
You ought to understand that you are not the only one that's worried on e whole situation.
Nobody mind their own business but u are minding too much.
Have ur limit.
I am tired and will blow off anytime.
If i need to to stfu, u better listen and obey nicely.
Everyone need a space to walk and breathe.
DO NOT CROSS THE LINE.

YOU ARE ANNOYING!

p/s: We're all avoiding or was it just me?

U can never predict the unpredictable

When comes to love, I am like one stubborn kok. I will hold on to one fat big pillar and constantly hallucinate myself that we are just friends and has no special feeling for him. Then my friend would drown me with qns like "Then why do u talk abt him so much"? "You miss him alot, don't u"? OH! COME ON, I dun miss just anybody, I miss all my friends. I was doing this quite well and holding the fact that I am not into anyone.

It was only until ytd, I can't help but doubt on myself. Why can small little words and sentences of his made me smile whole day like one fucking retard? WHY OH WHY!? It has been sooooooooo long since I last fallen in love. The butterflies in the stomach and the joy u can nv hide when u see your special someone, it was gone for so long. I nv wanted the feeling back, it was awful. U feel especially insecure when u are not one hot babe but a fugly fat one. Nabe. But in life, things like this cannot choose right? U cannot teach your heart what to do b cos I tried and failed majorly.

I hate to say I am in love. It's not a beautiful thing and it has never been.

I really hate myself for loving u.

Freedom break

Work's over! We had fun, we had joy and we have a blast on our last day!!! =D I'm sooo gonna miss them. My leg's still sore but the joy and laughter they brought for me was much more than my sorrows. Lovesss.

Got to know many others from different booth, cashier is my best best buds too. Good moments always ends fast. Went k-session with Xanne and Paul chew after work, uber funneh!!! I laughed so hard that my face muscle cramp. -.- HAHAHAHA.

他们就是我人生中的过客，虽然已画上了句点，但他们给我的回忆是无可取代的。

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On a side note, I din get to play with candles this year. Was suppose to buy myself a lantern but had no time! Mad sad. Next year, next year, I AM GONNA GET MYSELF 2 LANTERNS!

p/s: I somehow regretted what I've done to u. Too late, I know.

Gooey madness

I have a madness crave for gooey stuff recently. Gooey stuff as in, those that are slimy and sticky. Food okay!

Gross luh, I know. Anyway, I know it's a little early to set New year's resolution, I've set mine! I dun wan to be nice to friends anymore. It's not worth and I am very much NOT appreciated.

Thanks, I'm done with my speech. (: I realise, in this way, I will suffer from lesser emo days and lessen my pain. Woohoo. =D

Lovessssss<3

I love jelly and jelly love me.

I'm waiting for my jelly in e fridge to harden. So excited, haven had jelly for quite some time alrdy. Woohoo! =D

It's peanut butter jelly time! =D

Wrong choice

You did not walk out on me.
You moved on but I know you cared.
I am gonna be ok and will be.
Why do u choose to turn back and stab me once again?
Pls don't add more pain,
Pls don't hurt me again.

I almost make it on my own. Almost there but u came back, why.
I hope all you've left behind are sweet memories.
Don't turn things sour and only leave me with bad ones.
Plsssss.

Ketchup!

Ketchup with my lovable lovlies, GIRLS! It's always fun, fun and awesome FUN. We nv fail to laugh and remarked "those were the days". I love them, no matter what, they forever my lovliest!

Some tick and tiff in between, however, I believe our bond will dissolve all matters huh? =)

GROUP HUGGSSSS!!!

xoxoxo

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Gonna meet Nisah tmr, cant wait! Hopefully everything is good for her. She is not well these few days. Worried sick.

It's gonna be study study study tmr. I need to brush up on my stats, I've skipped a total of 6 lessons for that. GODNESS GRIEF! Why like that? Someone pls slap me. Die die gonna get a C this time, telong uh.

430pm will be my BAK KUT TEH time tmr! Shiny shiny stars<3 Longed for bak kut teh know, finally we're all ready to go and try some. Woosh! It's gonna be spanky!!!

Slp early today kay.

p/s: Planning a girls lovable lovlies chalet. May it be a successful one, TBC!

Scary thoughts

I browse through my daily grades and UT grades today. Unless I fair well in my UT3, if nt, I'm gonna repeat another year! OMGGGGGGGG.

DIE OR NO DIE? All mus die.

Boring sunday

Boredom kill. Anyway, this is FUNNEH! HAHA(:

I hope u're here to entertain me.

Predict the unpredictable

If one is able to control his/her own life, will things get better? I always felt that what I want in life dun come to me but whereas those that I did not expect it to occur, it however, happened. Since I was a kid, I understand that I do not get everything I want, you got to work for it or wait for opportunity strikes and pounce on it, if you are lucky.

该说的不说，不该说的偏偏就说了一大堆。

This is life.

God save me,pls

I hope it fall from the sky. I NEED KA-CHING!
FUCKING URGENTLY.

Why so?

I see no light. No future in my life. Everything is screwed and I'm lost, once again. Keep crying and crying and crying. If crying can make me feel better, I would rather turn blind. I tried, it nv help.

YOU TURN MY LEFT UPSIDE DOWN. I wish i nv met u and u nv entered my life, at all.

我多么希望我们的相遇只是一场梦。。也该是时候让我醒过来了。

The after shock

Now Nash hair look double the worse after he found out that I blogged abt him. He wants his pixxes down but hey! NO WAY!!! HAHAHA.


See e DABOOOMB hair?! HAHAHHAA

Black is beauty

OovoO with Nash. He's stubborn and refuse to cut his long wavy indian hair. So... He's tinking of wearing hairband to school! Pixxes taken earlier. =X

Mad cute I tell u.


Check out e funky specs he showed me. Crazzy!


He is happy to wear that. Looks silly but CUTE!


White hairband with fringe down. -.-

Hairband with fringe up, up and away!


Crazy specs as hairband? Awesome!

He is mad crazy I tell u. HAHA, his family force him to wear that crazy specs on his bdae. I'm gonna get a bunny specs I saw on his next bdae. Gonna force him to wear it ard Orchard!

I love Naresh Jackson, he filled my life, soul with LAUGHTER!

Not alone

It's a day without you again, as usual.

It will soon become a routine.

How much does it worth?

Everything was fine today until 2nd break. I dunno but I felt anger when I talk abt this again. I dun see the need to play such a prank on me. I dun enjoy ur jokes and dun find it funny, of course.

You went with his nonsense and get over it. Brother hood huh? I know I am in no position to ask for your extra attention but hey! U ought to know who is getting overboard? U always get over and done with with things like that. I may seems ok and choose to not dealt on it anymore but how many times u wan to repeat such crap! There's a limit to everything know.

I am pissed not jus unneccessarily, I'm unhappy with the way u see things like it's small and puny. I dun see it like that, 是原则的问题。

我的任性，我会改。那你的不闻不问呢?

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My nose is running away for now. Gonna take med and rest.
Home internet is a mass and went bonkers again.
Everything is crap.
So is my thoughts.

p/s: I think I need to go see a consultant soon.

Tuesday

I tot it's not stats module today!

WTF can?! I skipped a total of 6 lessons for stats.
I am so gonna repeat that module, crazy coconut!

*&^%$#@!!

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Yah, skipped school today, damn. Thought it was ECD. Pure absurb I tell u, I kana lock at home today. Grandmo forgot that I lost my keys and she went on to lock that padlock-.- How pretty.

I decided to give school a miss. I have to be home early today, read news on this years' Ghost Festival and is said to be one of e fiercest. Ppl with Zodiac of a dragon shld pay extra attention as some fortune teller was saying tiger and dragon cannot get along well? I dunno. Jus be more careful luh hor, no harm. I am afraid of "that" too.

Eve came over today, as in came to my place and nua. We were both bored so she start playing with my phone as usual. Before I knew it, she was creating noise pollution. Tsk! I always had fun with her thou. We nv fail to entertain each other<3

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On a happy note, I feel better today. I hope more performance can come in because I WAN BIG AND MORE KA-CHING! $_$

Dead end

I have no one else to turn to except to blog here. I feel lousy, I dun feel wanted at all. Watching NDP does not bring back feeling of home anymore, at least, not this year.

Many things changed. People, enviroment, things etc. It's getting scary and it's beyond my control. I feel all alone during family dinner today, I have no sense of belonging. I am not blaming anyone for this, it's all me and me again, no one else. I have to stop whining, I want to be happy and smile from the bottom of my heart once again. I dun like emo sentences, I hate to say that I may suffer from depression. I dun like it when I need to blame myself and push my life to an end. I know my friends get frustrated if I continue to whine abt my life. I used to cover and drown myself with hell loads of excuses just to make myself feel better. It nv work again.

At this point of time, dun tell me "go and rest early, tmr will be a better day". NO, it's not gonna be, it nv happen, nightmare remain or even gt worse. "You are wanted, I am here". THANKS, i am not being sarcastic, I know you're concern, I know I have great friends, all your love are greatly appreciated. However, if a word "Im here" will make me feel better, pls repeat a 100 times but sadly, no. In another words, NO ONE UNDERSTAND MY SITUATION BETTER THAN I DO. Dun tell me you understand because YOU DON'T.

I'm tired of all the nice and beautiful words. No words seems more beautiful than "family", no. You can never imagine my fear for tmr. Because I know it's not gonna be better but more frightening nightmares are awaiting me.

No one is able to wake me up from my terrible nightmare, I have to save myself from this. I know, but how?

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I'm tired of sparing a thought for others, always put family and friends in the 1st place rather than myself. I am a whiner, yes but if I dun whine here, where else? I get tired of others whining too but I know exactly how it feels to be alone and helpless. I need god to save me.

p/s: I will nv go to e extreme of suicidal b cos i think it's dumb. I hope.. this option nv has to flash thru my mind.

Happy 国庆日

HAPPY 生日 新GAPORE!!!

Gonna catch the NDP at 510pm later on channel 8. I did that EVERY year but I dun have e goody bag this time round! My aunty's bf failed to get 1 for me. Damn. Still gonna watch it and get high thou(: I'm gonna celebrate e happy moment with Singapore today, so proud to be 1.

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Ytd's performance at Sengkang Harmony Square was ok. Audience was way too far away from us. Had fun with e girl guides and stuff, they are all adorable and sporting! <3

Mini parade was conducted ytd by secondary school students. Atmosphere was good and I like the it when all Singaporeans join in and sing along with all e national day songs. Rare sight, I would say.

They even provide fireworks! Though it was kinda cock up because fireworks started at 1140pm and not 12am. Tot suppose to be a count down party? Okay, sound silly but yea, it's a count down party. HAHA. So I was actually in the ladies doing my business while others are enjoying the fireworks. -.- Cranky.

Went to Geylang 揾道食 for tim sum. Mad awesome I tell u, satisfy my hunger and crave, everything luh. HAHA. Quite cheap also, only abt $26+ all tgt. Wrap up at abt 2am then send Mt home. Head back to Clementi with Cass to NTUC as she need to run some errands for her sis.

Home sweet home at 315am. Tired max.

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Today's gonna be a good day! Everyone is home. Grandmo went bonkers again, dunno what's wrong, she literally SCREAM at me when I talk to her nicely, WHAT IS THIS? -.- Heck.

I wan it to be a good day, I dun care.

p/s: I am having trouble with my rashes! It is itchyyyyyy. =(

Big smile to start a day.

Woke up at 12+pm today. Great time slping, full 12 hours straight! Finally free from insomnia(: Woke up at e right timining, grandmo came back from market and food's ready by e time I washed up.

Had youtiao and soya milk for branch. Grandmo is cooking real lunch in a while, mad loves<3 Sunday is my nua day and it turn me off when I have to travel all the way to Sengkang for show later. Tsk. Whining non-stop since ytd abt having to work two days in a row and yet I've been hoping to get more shows on weekends. Contradicting, yea, that's me. What's life without contradiction? HAHA, MY MOTTO.

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Ytd's Show was quite successful. Having stir up some fun and laughter from the boring audience is a form of satisfaction. MOTTO: To be shameless but fun.

HAHA, hopefully show today would be a greater success. Looking forward to the fire works! Wooots(:


p/s: I AM OFFICIALLY BROKE NOW. Stop asking me out.

Saturday

I fun ytd with Eve, Doro, Nisah Faiz, Allen, Nash and WQ. When a group of insane freaks meet tgt we became even more cranky! HAHAHA. They bright up my friday night and I was laughing my night through. So proud of myself to have snap so many of Nisah's unglam pixxes(: *pat on my shoulder*

Enjoyed their company but not e sheesha. Kind of taste funny and it's oozing hot! We left at 8 plus and head to Bugis Top shop. Walk ard abit then to MOS Burger for a drink, mad thirsty. Dehydrating soon.

WE SHOULD MEET UP SOON AGAIN! HAHAHA. Love it<3

Insomnia on a saturday morning.
Manage to slp back at 4am but wake up at 7am again.
Raniny day's a good time to slp but I'm suffering from insomnia.
WHAT IS THIS? -.-

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Performance later at Hougang Multipurpose Hall, 830pm.
So tired, how I hope I can stay at home on rainy days.

Gonna try and slp more so that I can concentrate on my performance later.

p/s: My menses is killing me. =(

It always happen.

Where are you when I ALWAYS need you?

All I wan to say to u..

ImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyouImissyou.......................

It can go on forever.

This is how much I have been missing u lately.

School

School is boring as usual.
It's a lazy and quiet friday today.
Will be out with Dorothy, Eve, Nisah and the rest later.
Inventory is not difficult today and we will be starting lesson at 130pm(:

I AM BORED, I jus dun feel like gg anywhere.

I see no motivation.

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Performance tmr and sunday.
I wish you can be there.
Be it for dinner or support.
How i wish my wish will come true.


p/s: I hope to see u more often, at least.

Laughter, my best medicine

Who makes me laugh non-stop in class?
Who cheer me up when I'm down?
Who intro interesting apps to me?
who laughs with me at e lamest little things?
who dance with me crazy dance steps in class?
Act like one dumb ass CSI shit on e way for toilet break?
Make fun of dragon boater together before UTs?

She is none other than...

DOROTHY OH!

I love her:
- Lame jokes
-Nonsense
- Noise pollution
- SONGS!
-COMPANY, always(:

I love grouping with her!

I LOVE HER, she filled my year 2 life with colours<3

I'm too tired to comment on your sayings anymore.
You are jus stubborn.
Pure tired of seeing what you type and whine everyday.
Your life is just abt whining and whining and whining.
You dun jus whine on your own life but on others too.
Such a BUSYBODY.
You think too highly of yourselve.
We dun need any self reflection but you need plenty!
Listen, whatever u say and do may not be ALWAYS right.

I know I have no rights to point finger at u but hey, you need to stop.
Life will come to an end too right? WHY CAN'T U?
Maybe your life is jus sooo oh perfect that you want everyone else to follow how u live?
Dream on.
Grow up kid. You need to think like an adult, you are NOT young anymore.
Stop acting like u know everything.
Stop controlling others life like it's yours.
Most importantly, YOU OUGHT TO SPARE A THOUGHT FOR OTHERS.
Think before you act. Because that's what make u DUMB.

Turning bad or better?

Somehow, things at home are slightly better now. However, there is still things I need to settle before wed arrive. Seriously jus hope RP can stop killing more trees and haunt us with more letters. Shit.

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I'm home today. It's Sunday and I suppose I have to be home, at least, for now. Things just got better, I shldn't take e risk of ruining it again. Today, I took e iniative to msg him. I just feel that I shld after what and how much he has done for me. 我想，我们还是朋友，不用做的那么难看。We had a nice chat over e phone which lasted for abt 15 mins or so. Loving it, it feels like before again. <3

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School tmr, again. This is sooooo bad, statistic is one of e module that I detest most. I have no choice but to go cos attendance is bad and couldn't be worse.

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p/s: I miss u. 我还是很想回到从前。。

Biasness

You shld really stfu.
Just because you are my senior doesn't mean you are always right.
Elderly are sick.
Haven they been young before?
Stop nagging me and telling me tales and morale on what I shld do.
YOU DUNNO ME WELL.
ENOUGH OKAY.
Everyone suck up to u but not me.

长辈是人，晚辈就不是人？

I want to be happy, why everyone is pointing finger at me no matter what I do, how i try, I AM ALWAYS IN E WRONG. FUCK!!!!

Fear

I fear to know that I am alone now.
What's yours?

Anger

All humans have e right to show their feelings, I don't. I don't like to show my feelings is because I hate being asked "Are u ok"? "How are u feeling now"? and the qns "WHY". I dislike WHY qns, I dunno how to ans or shld I rather say, I would not want to answer at all. My feelings are getting hold of me right now, I can't seems to control them and stop them anymore. They are running lose.

People ard u change, grow up, move on... Why am I still e same? No. Not the same but worse. I ask myself, why make myself suffer? I found no reply. FML, I dun deserve human rights.

I HATE TO ACT AS IF I AM OK WHEN I AM NOT. It disgust me, alot.

RJ?

Help needed on today's RJ pls.
What kind of lousy qns is that?!
Damn.

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School was normal today,
nth much happen.
No other hurtful feelings.
UT was fine, all answers can be found in 6P.
Luck is on my side=)

Hope tmr will be a better day! =D

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STOP UR MSG, it sucks.

East side story

FLOOD! U know, u know. Our car jus float in e flood, can u imagine how bad it is? I gt drenched and was mad sick now. Oh, I am now at AH blogging cos I really has gt zero things to do here. Fever checked, 40 degrees. I DUNNO WHY MUS I BE HERE! Still gt H1N1 mehs? -.- Thought not trendy anymore? Hospital is not nt a place for u to spend on ur weekends. SHIT.

I had fun at e East side thou. The only fucked up part is... Nvm. =)

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I love those who love, loved me
I jus want to lead my life happily
I wish I never know u
I wish I am a cold blooded person
I wish U nv leave memories in my life.
I wish..... I AM NOT ME.

What has done, cannot be undone.

Sometimes, things jus dun turn out as what you wants it to be.

Dun worry, there'll still be sunrise tmr and everything will still be fine.

It's jus him that is looong gone.

Think big and you'll feel like one.

Things will nv nv nv be e same again. I know, from the bottom of my heart<3

Revive!

I think it's time for me to blog again.
Many things has happen and I feel small.
My life is screwed as always.
I need a man in my life but who?
AHHH! Someone pls guide me and tell me what to do?

Nice one, now she is not talking to me.
What's my next move?

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Went Rebel with Cryssie, Taugay, Kenneth and Julian ytd.
Awesome night mainly b cos of them but boo to tt place.
NO HANDSOME GUYS-.-
Reach home at 545am, Cab waiting was CRAP!
Waited for an hour know!!!! =(
Phuture soon okay! Weetss(:


p/s: Someone pls tell me this is not love.

Finally, something to blog abt.

It has been quite some time since I last updated my blog with my life and gossips? HAHA. Had a busy holiday, lots of stuff to prepare and rehearsal almost every weekdays. I know my blog is a place for me to share my more personal side of my life but however, my blog is not private hence, i do not think it's e best idea either.

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I felt relieve today. To be exact, was ytd. People used to say 'once bitten, twice shy'. Yes, I finally got e taste of it. Many things happen, i know myself very well, I have attitude problem and I am not shy to admit it. I do not feel negative abt it thou.

Anyway, I am gonna learn from my mistake and never repeat it again. I finally know how human can be when they want smth so badly. Lastly, I now understand where I stand and what kind of image I has in your heart.

It doesn't matter anymore.

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On e brighter note, many performance are coming up! HAHAHA, interesting venues like resort world, genting etc. CAN'T WAIT!!!

I love my job(:

Announcement

Blog dead.

I'll try to revive it. HANG ON!

Paid off!

I'm on all hurray mode now. WOO-LA-LA!

Skippy skip skip(:

Reflect

Had been slping really early these few days, guess it's just holiday symptom. When I slp late, i tend to think alot and reflect on many things that I've nv thought of in my busy life. Friendship, love, family blah blah blah and it can goes on and on.

I've take many things forgranted in life, friendship especially. I've lost contact with many friends though I know I'm always telling others that I am juggling my time well but look who's talking? I read one of my friend's blog recently. I felt guilty. Damn, it jus hit of to me that I am one of those ppl whom will disappear for a moment and only look for him when I needs a favour or so. I thought abt it and the conclusion hit off like an big car accident. BAHBOOM! I am an asshole. I always THOUGHT i tried and I THOUGHT I manage my time considerably well until today.

I know, I found out that I've let many of my friends down. Friends whom has always regard me as friends and friends whom stood by me even if I choose to go with other friends. There are days where they give up my little place in their heart and take in someone who are more worth the title... friend.

Even in my poly life, i repeat this dreadful mistakes. I know many of you might be nodding vigrously now.

I AM NOT A FRIEND. I'll try to be one. Hopefully, it's just not too late.

Updates

I'm trying to upload pixxes I took using my digi cam but my stubborn lappy jus refuse to digest my memory card! -.- ARGH!



I'll try again tmr. Anyway, I see many interesting stuff today! Exciting-ly exciting=D ESCORTS u know, ESCORTS! They are everywhere in Clark Quay and I even witness 2 girls (chicken) approaching ang mohs for business. Woo, high class alrdy, nowadays chicken dun jus stay in Geylang, they are no longer kampong chicken but city chicken instead! *faints*

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I'm meeting Cryssie & xiang Jun tmr. Busy busy busy-.- Life is a contradiction.

My fav(:

OovoO-ing again! Haha, this time round left with me, qiang, nash and ade. Ceci was not well ytd, hope she's fine thou. Wasn't at my best mood ytd and tot of digging some friends out to chill BUT none available. Excuses everywhere, I am not saying that you fook out excuses to push me away but I really need someone there for me ytd but where were u guys? *&^%$#@ Nvm, it's all over now. Thanks to Wei Qiang, he actually made my smile jus by toking to me on MSN with his lame-ness. Loves(: Tong qiang everywhere!

I get soooo obsessed with this "Annoying Orange" clip! Uber cute I tell you. Qiang send me the voice clip and I made it my msg tone. Msg me msg me! So that I can laugh like e retard when ever my phone rings. =XXX Mad loves(:

OH! I drew Nash ytd.
TADA!!



HAHAHA. Nice right, Nash! see how much I love u? =)

Blue morning

I woke up today and I had 8 missed calls from my grandmo, 2 from my moma and none from you. Oh well. Judging by the number, I know probably 'they' are here to visit again or maybe not?

It turn out to be.... My dearest uncle fought with someone at his work place. That china man call him SIAO. Names calling can be funny at times but NOT all the time, according to my uncle, he did that EVERYTIME. Nabe.

This is not gonna be my problem, I have my auntie with me so she will settle in her ah lian style. A bonus for her b cos she hates CHINA MAN.

SO! what a day.

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I actually complained that I'm bored and my friend show me this.



So in actual fact, he is inferring that I AM A BORING PERSON. Yes, indeed.

BOREDOM kills.

Can't slp?

OovoO-ing does kill time! Good choice if you can't slp. No joke(:

How cool is that? From top left corner, Tong qiang, ade, ceci. Bottom left will be my nisah, nash and me, myself! HAHA. Uber fun I tell you. Nash always make us laugh with his nature, Mr bean's look=X Love it!

MORE OOVOO-ING PLS! XDDDD

HaPPy Valentine Day to all(:

I love u!

Memories are sweet happenings

Again, I've come to e end of another sem. When school reopen again, we are no longer year 1 students but year 2 instead. 2 sem has passed and many sweet memories have found a nice place in my heart. W36A spare me fantastic memories and I found some real friends too(: I still love them until today and this will go on forever, I hope.

Today, I'm back home early and many thoughts and feeling gush up to me like sugar rush. I can't explain the feelings I'm having in me, it's indescribable. Everyone in class W36J has plant a special image and memories in me. I make it a point that at the end of each sem, I would write a short little note to everyone of my classmates and here goes...

Cipi - You are someone that really shower me with care and concern instead of the other way round. I feel love by you b cos I really do feel your sincerity, despite your excellent academic grade, you are someone with bubbly character and never fails to make me laugh and cry at the same time. We shall continue on our search for 'leadership' guys. Love u Cipi, pls keep our happy moments shared in your heart ok! Have a safe trip ahead! =D

Cecilia - CECI! everytime I call u, I really does sound like calling myself but fun! HAHA, we may have unhappy times and some misunderstanding between us but you are still my cecilia(: I'll not drift away from you no matter what. Cos I jus love e way you say "hello" when you answer the phone and miss your hugssss awesomeness! (:Pls Be reminded to be less violent pls-.- Lovess

Adeline - Blur as always. We are only getting on closer term recently, my moment spend with you is the shortest among all! Nvm, I know you'll still date me out during hols right! Then we'll take bus ride home tgt. Though our time spent tgt is e shortest but I know we'll all be there for one another. And oie! Lady abit la, dun whack so hard next time ok=X

Nisah - NISAH GALA! My pillar of support. I really wish to be in e same class as you next year. Together with cipi oso(: Then we'll live happily ever after! woohoo~ Nisah, I have nothing to say to you b cos u shld know how much I love u by now. Awww, sweet isn't it? GALA forever! =D

Farhana - Quiet as you may be, pls go and count on the number of sentence we actually communicate with one another-.- I TELL U, CONFIRM LESS THAN 50. Everytime outing need to go back so early, never once say BYE to me some more=( Awfully sad. Haha, but I love u still cos we do laugh at the same joke. You know, I know=X Hang out more often ok. <3

Dhiya - U another one. Class outing forever go missing-.- WHY AH?! Tennis more important? I throw your ball away I tell u=X HAHA, oops, sound wrong. Anyway, I enjoy your company in class, look forward to spending more time with u=) Lovesss

Valerie - Xiao xiao!!! Haha, recently act dao only, dun wan to tok to me. But i still love u b cos you are my one and only xiao xiao. I'm gonna miss e days where we zha-bok class half way to walk down to the vending machines for drinks. We may be in diff class but we're jus a MSN away! Keep in touch hor, I miss your "death stare". =)

Wei Qiang - Lame king award for you pls. Lamest person I've met in my 22 years of life. But u nv fail to make me laugh. Stay lamie ok, cos we love u for who you are. Stop being so flower heart la, get settle down fast hor. I less than 3 you! but I know u love GALA more la=)

Wei Zhi - DARREN BOY! You are one cute boy that I've known whom don't deny your love towards the girl you like. *ahem, you know who* Turning 18 soon, learn to be more sensible ok, pls dun go ard scolding vulgarites and pointing fingers at others. Bad habit! HAHA. May you have more muscles!!!

Wei Liang - Thanks for your UT notes! They does help a little duirng my UT. Your looks and personalities dun tally at all=X HAHA. Clean your brain abit la, dun let it turn so yellow, not good for health you know! Find urself a gf might help? =)

Yixin - AH XIN! U look super quiet when I first look at you but you turn out to be someone else=X Someone that is sensible and nice(: Keep in touch ok, I miss looking at you playing maple=(

Kogin - Remember the things I've told you and I believe you will have no problem in future. We always joke abt u but u nv once get angry. NICE JOB! You are who u are, jus thighten your specs ok! Eh, next time go AMK then find u share cab again ok=D

Lap kwan - I dun like you from the start la. But I do see changes in you and I can feel it too. Dun be too bossy and pay more attention to what you say. Other than your bossy-ness, you are nice(: Bring me to Thai disco one day ok! HAHA.

Tristan - Be a man and learn to speak up! Dun stick your gummy bear anyhow pls-.- HAHA.

Hai Fan - Support china man! HAHA, clever lo, what else to say? Always reject my love for no kuku reason-.- U dun forget u oso supply chain one hor! Probability of seeing me again is damn mama de high! HAHA

Yaqi - A place to smoke! HAHA. All on you man Yaqi, without you, ppl like rex all cannot smoke. POWER!

Rex - BIG TIME AH BENG! First time see you wan to see one time whack one time! Haha=X Now diff la, nice guy(: I warn you not to change my name on your phone! This is an order. Haha, I miss u la=( Cos i know u sure forget me when u change a new class with more pretty gers! NEH NEH POK U. I am unreasonable but SO WHAT?! =P

Heiryl - Dun be so dirty minded la! But I love you for your jokes and all. You are e one that came out with gummy bear, security guard and all. LAUGH MY ASS OFF! I am soooooo gonna miss your jokes=( Mus come and find me often ok!

Khai - BROTHER KHAI! You are cute by nature la. HAHAA, scream for no reason. You shld join us more often on outings=) It will be great fun you know. Hope everything is well on your side(:

Syamil - Cold jokes killer! Haha, power pact on telling jokes with your expressionless face=X I like it. HAHA. You mus join our outings next time ok!

Mussie - Superman( I dunno why ceci call u that but sound cool) Dance for me next time ok! Together with your gf! Haha, I enjoy seeing u dance, awesome la! You ah, oso racist one ah, dun wan to join us for gatherings. Tsk tsk. CANNOT LIKE THAT LA! COME!

Naresh - Naresh Jackson + Jay sean! Baby are you down down down down down~ HAHA. Our class full time joker, very talented of you nash. Can be Naresh Jackson, Jay sean and oso MR BEAN! All time fav(: Haha. I love your chocolate la, make more for me next time ok. I am soooo gonna miss you nash! I love dark chocolate! =D

Mahdi - ARAB GUY! hoho. Always like to act fierce for no reason=X Dun have much interaction with you but you always show concern when I'm stress or feel down. Thanks alot MUDDY! =D



Everyone, this is my class, W36J. Altogether they spell.... AWESOME! I love everyone of them in this class. All of you plays a part to make this class fun and entertaining. I will NOT, NEVER, die die oso wun forget you guys. <3

xoxoxoxoxoxo

How cool?

Hui Jun was bored and she did this for me-.- HAHAHA How awesome!!!

Love it to e max for now. =X

She ponder

Why izit tt ppl can do it and I cant? Why simple questions like this and she can make mistakes?!

DAMN, DAMN, DAMN!

She is gonna fail again not b cos she is stupid. Err, maybe partly but still she din put in relevant effort. FUCK!

After holidays

School started today after 3 weeks of rest. To me, it's a no rest week, UT straight after man! How cann? =(

Today's lesson as usual, nth special happen. Met up with Hui Jun, Irene, Aaron, xw loves and qiqi for 2nd break. Went over to kopitiam to da bao then head back to school. Had hellueva fun out there! wahaha.

Was suppose to go for adventure learning after school but went off with Rexy and Yixin to South Canteen instead. Chatted while they munch their chicken rice, yah la, we wanted to go home straight after but I was too nua alrdy so we go over to e blk opposite the school for a long but short chit chat=XXXX hahaha. Tok abt our sec school life, exciting ok! HAHA. Went off at 6 plus and bye bye I'm home.

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Gg out real soon for business! Tsk.