Dead end

Many thoughts has been running thru my mind these few days. So much has happen, many things were being shared. Been trying to piece the puzzle tgt but there's just too many missing pieces. U made me think, every min, every sec, u made breathing difficult and now I don't even have e courage to face u, at least not now.

Alot was being shared during the stay at Deb's place. It made me think and analyze more but it's not making me feel any much better. I felt worse. U reacted funny when I finally see u after so long but ur smile was long gone. I want to know, I wish to be there but I wasn't e first person that pop in ur mind. Apart from that, I wan u to be fine. I'm worried but I fucking can't do a single thing cos I know I'll only add onto ur stress if I were to push things a little too far.

This, has been brought up to several ppl. I know, I really know it's not gonna work but in life, there'll definitely be things u're persistent abt. I'm generating the points all of my friends have pointed out. What I really know now is, I feel shitty. It feels as thou 1000s of knives has just stabbed thru my heart. Yes, that bad.

I'm sitting in Deb's room, blogging, filtering my thoughts. I thought.... This will be the best for both of us. Hopefully:)

I jus want u to be happy and I think I know just e right thing to do. Adios!